gRoUnD
2005-11-24, 11:02:44
Aus dem Rage3d.com Forum...
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was
removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a
roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's
no glitch."
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a
stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub.
Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had
gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck,
to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he
taketh away.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck
Norris
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked
15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds
of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat
that, Lance Armstrong.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right legs. :LOL: x1000
When Chuck Norris has s3x with a man, it is not because he is gay, but
because he has run out of women.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the
information he wants.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds
till." After you ask, "Two seconds till what?" he roundhouse kicks you
in the face.
Chuck Norris uses ribbed c0nd0ms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related
deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke
the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while
she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger; it is actually
a list of people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked in the face that
day.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead
decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he
grew a beard.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK
assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his
beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and
saying "booya".
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling,
"Bang!"
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was
removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a
roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's
no glitch."
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a
stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub.
Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had
gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck,
to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he
taketh away.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck
Norris
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked
15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds
of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat
that, Lance Armstrong.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right legs. :LOL: x1000
When Chuck Norris has s3x with a man, it is not because he is gay, but
because he has run out of women.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the
information he wants.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds
till." After you ask, "Two seconds till what?" he roundhouse kicks you
in the face.
Chuck Norris uses ribbed c0nd0ms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related
deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke
the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while
she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger; it is actually
a list of people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked in the face that
day.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead
decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he
grew a beard.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK
assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his
beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and
saying "booya".
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling,
"Bang!"