Yomin
2002-08-18, 17:14:42
Heute morgen hab ich diese e-mail bekommen... Sie ist von einem bekannten aus Wien. Er tut sich leichter, wenn er englisch schreibt (hat er gesagt)
aber was soll ich denn auf sowas antworten?
Hey Loda!
Is my life worth living? What will the future bring? noone knows. I am pissed at everyone for no reason. What’s wrong with me? Am I so different? I just want to live a normal life. But I can’t and I don’t know why. I don’t have any true friends. I realized that today. It’s hard to get along all alone. Ok, my mom is trying to support me wherever she can but she just doesn’t understand. How can she know how I feel. I feel so broken. I guess I need a girlfriend to get out of this fucked shit. Now there’s one more problem. I’m not smart, I’m not cool I’m not handsome and so on. I know that nearly everyone likes me. Even the girls like me, but they’ll never be with me in a relationship that’s more than just friendship. Oh god I hate it! I am too shy…Am I afraid of physical contact to girls? Why is that so? Is it because I don’t have any bros and sisters? Probably….
It’s also very sad to see, that **** hid his attitude towards me. He never was that smart like yesterday in linz. He likes ****** a lot. And everyone likes him…. But now they forget about me. I knew ****** for a lotta time longer but I am too afraid to touch her. And yesterday **** almost grabbed her titts. He knew ger for 2 days! I know her for about a year and I am still afraid to touch her arm. It’s so sad to see. I saw in his eyes that he wanted to kiss her… I’m down about that. He always thinks he’s so much better than me. And he proved it.. that’s the very sad thing about it. I introduced them to him! I led him into Punk Rock! Everything they think is cool at him is actually from me!
It’s so fucked up! I just can’t take that anymore. But I can’t just quit the friendship because if I’d do that there will be noone left for me. I’d have no friends at all. I guess I have to talk to him. But how? We never talk about serious things.
Thanks for listening Loda!
Waiting for an answer
*****
hilfe!
aber was soll ich denn auf sowas antworten?
Hey Loda!
Is my life worth living? What will the future bring? noone knows. I am pissed at everyone for no reason. What’s wrong with me? Am I so different? I just want to live a normal life. But I can’t and I don’t know why. I don’t have any true friends. I realized that today. It’s hard to get along all alone. Ok, my mom is trying to support me wherever she can but she just doesn’t understand. How can she know how I feel. I feel so broken. I guess I need a girlfriend to get out of this fucked shit. Now there’s one more problem. I’m not smart, I’m not cool I’m not handsome and so on. I know that nearly everyone likes me. Even the girls like me, but they’ll never be with me in a relationship that’s more than just friendship. Oh god I hate it! I am too shy…Am I afraid of physical contact to girls? Why is that so? Is it because I don’t have any bros and sisters? Probably….
It’s also very sad to see, that **** hid his attitude towards me. He never was that smart like yesterday in linz. He likes ****** a lot. And everyone likes him…. But now they forget about me. I knew ****** for a lotta time longer but I am too afraid to touch her. And yesterday **** almost grabbed her titts. He knew ger for 2 days! I know her for about a year and I am still afraid to touch her arm. It’s so sad to see. I saw in his eyes that he wanted to kiss her… I’m down about that. He always thinks he’s so much better than me. And he proved it.. that’s the very sad thing about it. I introduced them to him! I led him into Punk Rock! Everything they think is cool at him is actually from me!
It’s so fucked up! I just can’t take that anymore. But I can’t just quit the friendship because if I’d do that there will be noone left for me. I’d have no friends at all. I guess I have to talk to him. But how? We never talk about serious things.
Thanks for listening Loda!
Waiting for an answer
*****
hilfe!